counseling

Let Go Of Envy

Envy creeps into all of our lives from time to time. Recently on social media I saw someone’s successful project of something I really am interested in completing.  For just a second (or two) petty Julie thought “I’m not going to like that post” as if the person even cared or as if I wouldn’t be disappointed in myself for letting envy get the best of me.  Thankfully, my better angels prevailed and I liked the post because I do wish others well and hope for people to be successful.  I reminded myself of these three things to help tamp down any envy.

·It isn’t for you.

Whatever you may be seeing and desiring of someone else's – it isn’t yours and it isn’t meant for you.  I remind myself that it is OK that others have things I don’t or have an easier time in a situation than I do.  What others have is not mine and has nothing to do with me.  They have their journey and I have mine.  Someone else’s triumphs do not take away from anything I have.  I am not less because someone else has more or has done more than I have.  I only need to concentrate on myself, what is mine and what lessons I am here to learn.

Do not judge or compare to other people’s highlights.

Many times, we are guilty of comparing ourselves to others.  Look at any social media and see all the happy times.  Sometimes it is like everyone is winning some award, or reaching some milestone or getting to go on some adventure and you might feel left behind.  Remind yourself that social media posts don’t give the whole picture.  The post may not tell you all the hours the person worked or obstacles a relationship struggled through or all someone gave up to save for their adventure.  Someone’s highlights is not the whole picture.  Even when talking with family and friends, there are likely pieces you aren’t seeing.  Focusing on what others have that you don’t, especially when you aren’t seeing the whole story is time wasted.

·         Have an abundance rather than scarcity mindset.

Focusing on what others have that you don’t is a scarcity mindset.  It is a feeling of fear that there isn’t enough to go around and somehow you are going to be left behind.  A scarcity mindset can lead to fear-based decisions and being disgruntled about all you don’t have.  Conversely, an abundance mindset is understanding that there is enough for you.  Once someone believes that what they are supposed to have they will have, the easier it is to be open to the possibilities and actually allow what is meant for you into your life.

 

Next time the envy train is trying to get you aboard, remember these tips!  If you’d like help living your best life, feel free to check us out at www.holdinghopeservices.org.